19:)

Me: I'm so tired I could collaspe into bed and sleep for a year..
Me: gets in bed
Me: how was earth created
Me: who made microwaves
Me: how does the internet even work
Me: I'm hungry
Me: feels bad about something I did 4 years ago
Me: remembers 73 unfinished tasks
Me: too wired to sleep.

May 22nd / 249,852 notes

If I ever tell you I’m going to sleep and then you see me posting or liking things online for about an hour immediately after that, I promise I wasn’t lying to you, I’m just bad at going to sleep and it is usually a long process that begins with disengaging from any sort of immediate contact with people (chats, for example) and ends when everything on my screen is blurry and I’m hallucinating plot points I haven’t written yet

May 22nd / 73,639 notes

His pledge to her:
i will kill the spiders. i will share my fries with you when you’ve finished all yours and are still hungry. i won’t ever pop my collar. i will never be rude to your tummy- when i hear it growl and gurgle. i promise to bend down and reply respectfully. i will eat the mushrooms when we order the supreme pizza. i will kiss the papercuts. and the door-slammed finger, and the counter-bumped hip. i’ll try my hardest not to get annoyed when you whisper questions and comments during movies. i will be the big spoon. i will let you win at wrestling, sometimes. other times i will not. i will go faster. harder. i will pull when you want. and tease you when you don’t. i will send you random texts and leave you silly gifts. not always. not on schedule. just whenever i want to. whenever i think you need one. or seven. i will check your tire pressure. and remind you to take your car in. i will hold your hand. i will love you. i will love you. i will love you.

His pledge to her:

i will kill the spiders. i will share my fries with you when you’ve finished all yours and are still hungry. i won’t ever pop my collar. i will never be rude to your tummy- when i hear it growl and gurgle. i promise to bend down and reply respectfully. i will eat the mushrooms when we order the supreme pizza. i will kiss the papercuts. and the door-slammed finger, and the counter-bumped hip. i’ll try my hardest not to get annoyed when you whisper questions and comments during movies. i will be the big spoon. i will let you win at wrestling, sometimes. other times i will not. i will go faster. harder. i will pull when you want. and tease you when you don’t. i will send you random texts and leave you silly gifts. not always. not on schedule. just whenever i want to. whenever i think you need one. or seven. i will check your tire pressure. and remind you to take your car in. i will hold your hand. i will love you. i will love you. i will love you.

May 22nd / 563,728 notes

me: ew the ice cream is melting
my friend: quick put it close to your heart to keep it cold

May 22nd / 103,747 notes

May 22nd / 50,166 notes

niggaimdeadass:

i leave crumbs in the butter because i hate my family

May 22nd / 64,067 notes

mendox:

this is the coolest picture on tumblr.

May 22nd / 72,291 notes

wartortles:

*holding phone in hand* where the fuck is my phone

May 22nd / 10,229 notes

overtheunderpass:

“are you on your period”

why yes, i am bleeding today

would you like to join me

May 22nd / 118,372 notes

The secret isn’t to find someone you love spending time with - I love spending time with a lot of people. The secret isn’t to find someone that you find attractive - I find a lot of people attractive for many different reasons. The secret isn’t to find someone who is nice - there are tons of nice people in the world. The secret is to find someone who wants exactly what you want. Someone who is ready to give you all they’ve got, and in turn be ready to accept all the love you have to give. The world is filled with people in relationship of “loves you more” & “I have to act mean so they will like me back” or “I am just not ready.” Please do not waste any more of your precious time. You are an amazing creature. You deserve to be loved until your insides melt. Don’t give up on all the things you want. When you meet the right person you will have zero doubt in your mind. Zero. (via frankie-wolf) May 22nd / 3,512 notes